hattiebaker
Happy Birthday Mr MaRley ❤
Its my birthday today, and.my mate Julie.in Leeds too.
Yay!
I get to share my.birthday with a LEGend. There’s always a radio station or a.DJ somewhere on the sound waves playing a.special set to celebrate Bob on my birthday. This year it will be 76years after his birth. Apparently.there will be a gig in September in leister. I.like their forward planning.
You just gotta.love Bob. He’s the man.
WHAT IS IT YOU PLAN TO DO WITH YOUR ONE WILD AND WONDEROUS LIFE?
MARY OLIVER
BE BOLD. BE BRAVE. BE WILD! DO IT.
DREAM BIG then DREAM BIGGER !!
WE NEED TO ENGAGE IN SOME CELESTIAL CARTOGRAPHY AND START MAPPING THE STARS IN A WAY THAT ALLOWS THEM TO HELP US.” (MAGNUS MAC FARLANE-BARROW)
Today was a good day. Amongst la hospital visit I encountered some celestial beings. The ones that come in human form, just at the right moment, the perfect hour, the hot minute. There’s a sensual feeling of something soft and fluffy which brushes past you as they leave the room. Leaving your mind with the immediate question of “was that for real?” Then once digested, the residue keeps you in a warm glow for the rest of the day, with a deep knowing that everything is gonna be alright, “every little thing”.
All there is to fear is fear itself.
Its true y’know. We all have fears. We all stress inside our whirlwind heads about something. We all have our own little ticks and stresses. But it is true that all we ever fear is fear itself.
When the Doc told me he proposed more drugs to pump in my vein I kinda was prepared to hear that. I’ve been through the mill at the hospital before and surely nothing could be worse than that. So I was Still in a jokey mood. But when they said I would loose my hair….eeeeekkkkk….that’s what broke me. That’s what sent the shivers up spine. Loose my hair? Go round looking like the chemo Queen? No thanks pal. You are pushing my limits now.
I sat with Christine the nurse, she brought the tissue box and made me coffee. We talked it through. It wasn’t about having no hair, it was about people looking at me with sympathy. “Poor you” I can’t stand that shit.
So, a few months on and treatment is rolling on. I’ve strangely become accustomed to the 6am call to stick my head down the loo. It happens every 3 weeks, the day after the drug fix. A purging, which bizarrely I can report that once its done and I can physically spew no more it leaves me with an exhausted yet cleansed feeling. Skin feels clear and fresh. Tummy is empty, refreshed, made new.
And now, here I am ….BALD!!
It started a few weeks ago with a tingling sensation. My head felt.like a.hedgehog. Then after a week I dared to take a razor to it then slowly, slowy exposed my baby skin to the sun. Well, after all the fear and all the tears once it came around I thought to myself “Build a bridge Hattie”. It’s just some hair, it will grow back. And as I gazed in the mirror I kinda didn’t mind anymore and I made a note to self- there is nothing to fear. Our biggest fears are all in the head.
Back to the field, back to the tent. Oh yes, deep joy. Barefoot,bikini on, fire lit. This is the life. Summer sun. Love it.
There is something magical about pitching up in a field surrounded by the south downs walkways. Watching a buzzard land. Spotting an owl swoop over head at night as we laze around the camp.fire, chatting, laughing, crying,healing. Many wonderful nights full.of stories and laughter, deep connections. As we all connect to the land and the earth. As we gaze up at night in awe of the stars. And laze around in the day with the buttercups and the grass.
I always arrive at the field with excitement and then unravel, relax, have fun with pals and go home refreshed and revived. Always a good time.
Happy summer to you ❤
Did you smell that? The mild whiff of spring in the air
Did you see that? A wee nipple of a daffodil head poking out from the earth
Hold.on, its coming.
Soon we can say goodbye to the box set dramas and late night zoom calls.
Soon we can walk barefoot out to the tent.
Soon we will be laughing round the campfire and all this drag of winter will be behind us.
TfFt
(For Alice, my divine camping partner x)
Its our annual reset button. Its a new beginning, whoopee! Lets celebrate with carrots all round.
Let’s not make any resolutions, (its not what donkeys do.) Let’s learn to fly instead. Fly into our new year, with a fresh determination, with a new perspective on the grassy green field of life.
Soon the pastures will be blooming with wild flowers and scrumptious grass. Lets get through the boggy January, safe in the knowledge that blue skies will come again and spring will be with us in no time at all bringing buttercups and sunshine.
Happy New year everybody! Love Fred xx
Fred is a good neighbour of mine, we hang out and chat shit together. He’s a cool kinda donkey with a good outlook on life.
Did you know that Donkeys have an excellent memory? they can recognise another donkey they met 25 years ago. Cool hey? I’ve only known Fred a while now and he always trots up to see me and gives me a nudge.
They also have highly.developed sense of self preservation, which impresses me about Fred. He knows how to stay out of dangerous situations and will protect others if needed. He is a good pal to have.
If you ever have the opportunity, befriend a donkey, they are so calming to hang out with and they make.you.feel.safe to be around. Good qualities to have in a friend.
The cusp of the new year is almost here. We all look forward to waving a big GOODBYE to 2020 and stepping into a fresh start. Personally I have had one of the best years of my life. I know that’s not the same for everyone but its all about perspective. Its not what happens to our lives but its how we respond to it. So Keep the volume of your heart high ♥ and step.boldly into the new.
“There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind” C. S Lewis
One of my favorite finds this year, a zebra crossing which lights up.as.you.step.out onto it. How cool is that? As we all step into the new of 2021 I hope our paths will.light up along the way.
Out with the old and in with the new xx
Hattie Baker